It still haunts me, the way his arm fell off the couch like a rushing waterfall with no outlet to the sea that would, with time, become nothing but brittle cliffs. The subtle shallow breaths that lightened his lake a little every time, sighed slightly upon exhale when the pernicious odor leaked from his cracked lips. I am nothing to him. I am furniture that gets in the way. I am evidence left behind. With rage which has calloused my heart I can only imagine releasing upon him the same physical wreckage which he has laid upon us, emotionally. I want to let go, I want to hurt him more than I want to save him. 

When I start hitting him I cannot stop. The world turns black, I cannot see where I am steering the car. I end up half way off the road but I cannot stop. I am a demon, slave to the vengeance he has deemed funny until now, when the true horror of my inhuman heart tears manically at my own kin, my own brother. See what you have made?! I want to scream. But I don't. I say nothing. I grab hold of the wheel and throw the two of us back onto the street. 45 miles an hour, I am just like him.